


Arms Wide Open

by Katef



Category: The Sentinel (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Kid Fic, M/M, Original Character Death(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 17:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18348008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katef/pseuds/Katef
Summary: Jim and Blair have recently become a couple, but a moment’s indiscretion by Jim just prior to their mutual decision threatens to come between them.  Some weeks after a one night stand, Special Prosecutor Kathleen Harris arrives at the loft to inform Jim that she is pregnant, and that the baby is his; and life thereafter is blighted by a series of complications and an unforeseen tragedy.





	Arms Wide Open

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on an original idea by Lisa, who kindly passed it to me to play with and finish. Thank you so much, Lisa. :-)   
> The Introduction is hers, and the continuation mine thereafter. I hope I’ve managed to do it justice!  
> The story takes place soon after the episode ‘Foreign Exchange’, but diverges from canon shortly afterwards, before ‘Night Shift’ and the dreaded ‘Sen Too’ when the scriptwriters totally lost the plot! ;-)  
> K x

**Arms Wide Open Katef March 2019**   


**Introduction:**  


Summer was holding on, refusing to let fall begin and Blair Sandburg was enjoying the unseasonable weather, skipping out early on his office hours. Seeing Jim’s truck outside the loft, Blair smiled. _Guess Jim had the same idea,_ Blair thought as he took the stairs two at a time. _Maybe Jim can grill some steaks on the balcony._

Humming softly, Blair let himself into the loft and almost instantly his good mood evaporated. 

Jim was sitting on one couch and woman Blair didn’t immediately recognize was sitting on the other. The look on Jim’s face—Blair had no words, he’d never seen a look like that on Jim’s face. And he had a sneaking suspicion that it was no bad thing as far as he was concerned. 

“Hi,” Blair said cautiously, the door still open if he needed to make a hasty retreat. 

“Chief,” Jim said, standing and gesturing his partner inside. “Do you remember Kathleen?” 

Blair turned to close the door and drop his backpack. _Kathleen?_ He was stalling, trying to bring up any memory of this woman sitting in the loft. He stepped closer to Jim, and she gracefully stood and held out a hand. 

“I don’t think we actually met,” she said. “Kathleen Harris, I was here wor—” 

“The Donnelly case,” Blair said with a smile. “I was tied up at the university with finals for most of that one. Nice to meet you.” He shook her hand. 

Jim and Kathleen shared an uncomfortable glance and Blair felt a tremor of trepidation run through him. 

They all sat, Blair taking a seat beside Jim. “So... what brings you back to Cascade?” Blair said, trying to shake off the uncomfortable feeling that had settled into his bones. 

“Well, I—” 

“Chief, I—” They spoke at the same time. 

Kathleen laughed nervously and looked at Jim. 

Jim turned and put a hand on Blair’s knee. 

“Kathleen just told me she’s pregnant.” 

And Blair suddenly felt like the bottom had just dropped out of his world.  


\----------------------------  


“And you have no reason to doubt her?” Blair asked, staring at Jim and trying desperately to keep the accusatory tone out of his voice and expression. They were alone in the loft, Kathleen having left soon after Jim’s announcement. 

Sighing, Jim shook his head. “I wish I could say no, but...” 

His sentinel vision dialled in on the ultrasound picture Kathleen had left on the coffee table, and Blair unwillingly followed his glance. 

“Nine weeks ago,” Blair said softly, refocusing Jim’s attention on him. _Before us._ Blair comforted himself with this knowledge at least. 

“Wha—oh, yeah. I, um...we were...” Jim gestured vaguely, averting his gaze in embarrassment. 

Blair held up his hands. “It’s OK, man. I don’t need to know the specifics.” 

Jim turned to face him again. “I’m really sorry, Chief,” he said, reaching out for reassurance. 

Blair hesitated only a second and then stretched out his own hand. Their fingers twined together and it seemed they both breathed a bit easier. 

“We’ll figure this out,” Blair said comfortingly. 

Jim just nodded, his relief almost tangible. As long as he had Blair, they could work through anything.  


\-------------------------  


**Later that evening:**  


“Did you want kids?” Blair asked, bringing a second round of beers out to the balcony for them. 

Jim took the beer and stared at it for a moment. “I don’t know. I never really thought about it until Carolyn and I got together and then, I don’t know, it all went to shit so fast.” He took a long pull of the cold beer. “She brought it up once, after we’d separated. I think, um, well, I think she thought it would change things...you know, make us a family.” 

“And you? What did you think about that?” 

“I thought if we didn’t get along without a kid, having one would make things worse.” 

“Yeah,” Blair said, peeling the label on the cold bottle, “you’re probably right. And no fair on the kid either.” 

“What about you? You ever want kids?” Jim asked, studying his guide. 

Blair cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows knitting together, and answered, “Maybe. I mean, it’s not something on an imaginary list of things to do, but I always figured if the right person came along,” Blair shrugged, “and the opportunity presented itself...” 

“What a way for an opportunity to present itself,” Jim said wryly. 

Blair grinned up at him. _Gods, how he loved this man!_  


\-----------------------------  


**Chapter 1: Complications:**  


**Five months later:**  


As the weeks passed, life evolved into what resembled normal for the two men. Blair continued to juggle his responsibilities at the U with backing Jim up whenever the sentinel needed to utilise his senses, and even when he didn’t. Although their relationship was growing and strengthening all the time, they hadn’t yet come out at the PD, Blair being still deeply worried about the horror stories he had heard regarding ostracism and late arriving backup for gay cops. Jim was surprisingly less so, stating firmly that if his colleagues didn’t like it, they could go hang, certain that those that mattered would still be there for them. But for Blair’s sake he played it cool, even though sentinel hearing suggested that their secret wasn’t as much of a secret as Blair might think. The one person he did feel somewhat guilty about keeping in the dark was Simon Banks, but not because he thought his old friend and captain would condemn them out of hand. It was more because what the captain didn’t know officially, he wouldn’t have to act upon when it came to allowing someone who was essentially Jim’s SO to continue riding with him. 

As far as Blair was concerned, for the most part he was more than happy with his lot. He had a real home, and had finally found someone who he truly loved for himself, and not just because Jim was his dissertation subject. Indeed, although he still worshipped and admired the sentinel for what he represented in the form of Blair’s long sought-after Holy Grail, he totally adored Jim the man. And because of that love he had decided to change the subject of his diss after all. With Jim’s whole-hearted agreement, he had gone to his committee and gotten the go-ahead to write about some aspect of the ‘thin blue line’ topic after all. He was still studying and writing about Jim, but for Jim’s personal use, explaining that somewhere along the line he could write up his findings in a sort of general self-help manual for others who might think they had the same problems. Jim could retain his anonymity, and all being well, Blair would get his doctorate with the alternative paper. 

And once he had achieved that goal, Blair intended to try to get himself accepted as an official consultant at the PD so that he could stay on the rollercoaster ride with his lover for as long as he could. 

Jim couldn’t believe his luck when Blair had somewhat diffidently told him about his change of plans a short while ago. He had admitted rather shame-facedly that he had always hated the idea of being the subject of Blair’s paper; only agreeing to it initially because he desperately needed the grad student’s help with the senses. But now they were together in all ways, the relief of knowing that he was no longer Blair’s Primary Subject was almost overwhelming, and had deepened his love for and appreciation of his partner beyond measure. 

But there was still the question of Kathleen’s baby, and that was something they couldn’t avoid even if they had wanted to. 

Kathleen had kept in touch with Jim, knowing that he wanted to be kept in the loop as regards both hers and the baby’s health. A one-night stand it may have been, but she realised that if she was to have a child outside of wedlock, he was pretty much her ideal sperm donor. And one who wanted to be involved in the baby’s life also, and she couldn’t fault him for that. Consequently, she and Jim had come to an amicable arrangement which suited them both in that he would be able to have access to the child on a regular basis. 

However, as time went by, and her broody instincts grew, she began to realise that she wanted more from their relationship, and determined to confront Jim with another proposition. And it just so happened that Blair inadvertently overheard their exchange.  


\------------------------  


Returning to the loft after a frustrating afternoon spent trying to drum up some enthusiasm amongst the students in his latest Anthro 101 class; Blair was looking forward to preparing a meal for his lover, and a quiet evening kicking back with a beer and making out on the sofa in front of the TV. He smiled to himself as he imagined that pleasant scenario, when he realised that he could hear raised voices coming from within the loft. Pausing before opening the door, he couldn’t help but listen in, knowing that Jim was angry and upset, and recognising the female voice he could hear cajoling and pleading with his lover as that of Kathleen. Part of him wanted to burst in and confront the bickering pair, but the part of him that remained somewhat lacking in self-confidence held him back. If this was about the baby, he had no right to impose his opinion on either of them, or so he thought. But as he continued to listen outside the door, biting his lip in worry, his anger and affront on Jim’s behalf began to grow. 

“Oh, come on, Jim! You know it’s for the best! This baby deserves more than just occasional access visits from her father! We could make this work, Jim. You’ve already said that you want to be involved in her upbringing, and I believe children need the input from both parents in a stable relationship.” 

“No, Kathleen! How many times do I have to say it? Yes, I’ll do my part in making sure that you and the baby benefit from my input, but I have no intention of forming a permanent relationship with you! I _have_ a partner already. One who I wouldn’t give up on for the world. So just accept that fact and live with it, OK?” 

“What _partner_ , Jim? You can’t seriously mean that little hippy you have still living with you? I mean, I’m no prude, and I guess I can understand that he might be a useful fuck-buddy for when you need to scratch an itch, but I can be the real thing, Jim! Serious relationships between people as diverse as you and Sandburg just can’t happen. He’s just a penniless student, for Christ’s sake, and you’re not truly gay. You can’t be!” 

“That’s enough, Kathleen! You’ve had your say, and I don’t want to hear any more about it. I don’t love you, never did, and you don’t love me either. Just accept that it was a mistake, OK? It was an enjoyable sexual encounter, but that’s all. Neither of us could have foreseen that faulty condom, or seriously consider the consequences. I’m glad that you decided to keep the baby, and I’ll live up to my promise to be there for you both, but don’t ever insult or belittle Blair again. 

“Now, I think you’d better leave. Blair’s home, and I don’t want him upset by your attitude.” 

At that moment, Blair decided to open the door, deliberately making enough noise to alert Kathleen to his presence so that she wouldn’t question how Jim already knew of his arrival. Pasting on a welcoming grin he greeted her cheerfully. “Oh, hi, Kathleen. Sorry, I didn’t know you were visiting today. How are you doing?” 

The speaking glance he exchanged with Jim told him that Jim knew he had overheard enough of the conversation to be aware of the situation, but that he trusted Blair to contain his anger and curiosity until Kathleen had left. 

As for Kathleen, she somehow managed to control herself with an effort, although she was still pink-cheeked with frustration and plainly irritated by the interruption. 

“Ah, hello Blair,” she muttered. “I’m fine, thank you for asking. And I won’t be staying,” she added, shooting Jim a venomous glance which Blair chose to ignore. 

“Oh, that’s too bad,” he replied ingenuously. “By the way, have you determined the baby’s sex yet? Or are you happy to keep it as a surprise?” 

Diverted by the good-natured enquiry, she said, “Um, oh no. I mean, yes I do know the baby’s sex. It’s a girl. 

“Anyway, it’s good to see you Blair, but I have to go. See you again soon, Jim,” and she almost bolted for the door without waiting for a response from either man.  


\------------------------  


As soon as sentinel hearing confirmed that she had left the building and driven safely away, Jim turned to face his anxious young lover, closing the distance between them until he could take the smaller man in his arms. 

“I’m sorry, babe,” he murmured into a curl-covered ear. “I wish you hadn’t had to hear that, but at least now you know what she wants. Not that it’ll make any difference to us, kiddo. As far as I’m concerned, the original agreement still stands and that’s all there is to it.” 

Blair sighed as he nuzzled his face against Jim’s broad chest. 

“Thanks, Jim. I mean, I totally believe in you, and I trust you with my heart, but she was really trying to push all your paternal buttons, wasn’t she? Maybe it’s something that happens as pregnancy progresses, huh?” 

Jim smiled sadly as he squeezed his lover gently. “Yeah, you’re probably right, babe. Hormones and stuff driving her nesting instincts and all. I’d feel real sympathy for her if she hadn’t had a go at you, babe. 

“But I won’t let her attitude come between us, or affect my intentions towards the baby. My daughter!” he added with an incredulous chuckle. 

Laughing softly along with him, Blair replied, “Yeah! A little girl! Wonder who she’ll look like, Jim? You or Kathleen? Or a combination of both? Either way, I’m thinking she’ll grow up to be a stunner, lover. You’re both great looking. I can understand why you’d sleep with her!” he added a little wistfully. 

“Because I’ve got good taste, kiddo!” Jim replied smartly. “Why else do you think I’d be loving you like I do? I just wish you’d believe me when I tell you you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met?” 

Blair snickered at that, grateful for the compliment even though he still didn’t really believe it, as Jim well knew. He just couldn’t see himself as any great catch, considering himself to be a short, mouthy, nerdy Jewish bastard. But somehow Jim managed to see something in him, and he was more than gratified with that. 

“Thanks, Jim. And for that I intend to cook us a special dinner tonight. Spaghetti carbonara OK with you?” 

And Jim nodded eagerly, pushing Blair away a little so he could smile into the quizzical, upturned face. “You bet, babe! I’m salivating already! You want a beer before you start?” 

And with their happy equilibrium restored, they settled down to enjoy a companionable evening together.  


\-----------------------------  


**A few weeks later, MCU bullpen:**  


Jim looked up from the report he was reading through, his head cocked slightly as a relieved smile crept across his handsome features. Blair was coming, and suddenly the bullpen seemed a much cheerier place, especially as Jim knew that his lover wouldn’t balk at attacking the pile of paperwork in Jim’s in-tray. What he had done to deserve such a loving and able partner he didn’t know, but he wasn’t knocking it. 

Over at her own desk, Megan Conner grinned knowingly to herself. She hadn’t been with Major Crimes that long on the Officer Exchange programme, but long enough to discern the special relationship between the irascible detective and his bouncy young ride-along. Although she couldn’t put her finger on whatever edge Ellison seemed to have over his colleagues when it came to his arrest and conviction stats, or what role Sandy played in getting those results, but she believed she could recognise true love when she saw it, and those two fairly glowed with it. Not that she minded, even though she wouldn’t have turned down the opportunity of dating Sandy herself. He was already a great friend, welcoming her to the department and supporting her whenever he could, and she was truly grateful for his generous nature. But she kept her thoughts to herself as regards their personal status. If they didn’t want to come out to the rest of the PD, then she wasn’t about to rock the boat. 

“Hey, Jimbo!” she called, sending him a knowing glance. “Is Sandy due to arrive, mate?” 

Jim scowled back at her, his frown forbidding even though it didn’t faze Megan one bit. “Not that it’s any of your business, Conner, but yes, he is. And no, he won’t be able to do any of your paperwork or run errands for you! There’s enough here to keep him busy without that!” 

Huffing in mock affront, Megan replied snarkily, “Wouldn’t dream of it, mate! Some of us can manage our own reports. You’re just one lucky bugger to have such a willing helper.” 

Just then, Blair burst into the bullpen like a mini hurricane, smiling and greeting everyone as he made his way over to Jim’s desk. 

“Hey, Megs, how’re you doing?” he said, grinning widely as he passed her. 

“All the better for seeing you here, Sandy, love,” she laughed. “And someone not too far away will be only too grateful that you’re here. Looks like Jimbo’s got plenty of work lined up for you!” 

As Jim growled in the background, Blair threw back his head and laughed good-naturedly. “Then it’s a good job I don’t mind grunt work then, isn’t it? But to be honest, Megs, it’s quite a relief after a morning of trying to get through to some of my students. It’s always the same. The good ones are very good and super-keen but too many of the others think that anthropology is an easy way to get credits, and they don’t like it when they find out that I don’t work that way. 

“Anyhow, a bit of mindless boredom sounds just the ticket right now,” and he beamed up at Jim, his mere presence dispersing the big cop’s ill temper like magic. 

Smiling smugly now, Jim responded, “That’s good to know, Junior. I wouldn’t want to deprive you of your fun, so there you go. Your paperwork awaits!” 

“Gee, thanks, Jim, you’re all heart!” Blair sniped back, but the grin on his face belied his words as he settled himself down in front of the computer. 

However, his good humour evaporated a little as he remembered what he and Jim had agreed that very morning, which was to finally ‘fess up to Simon about their relationship. They had already run past him the change of diss topic, and he had approved it unconditionally, especially when Blair somewhat diffidently broached the possibility of being taken on as an official consultant once he’d received his doctorate. For sure, Simon had admitted that he would prefer Blair to go to the academy and get himself turned into a real cop, but he was too glad of the pair’s contribution to his department’s success rate to argue the point. 

But how he reacted to the news that Jim and Blair were a couple in all ways was a whole different ballgame, and Blair freely admitted that he was concerned about the big captain’s response. The man was no stranger to prejudice, having fought his way to a prominent rank almost despite his African American heritage, but how far his tolerance of alternative lifestyles stretched was yet to be determined. 

Instinctively knowing what was troubling his guide, Jim patted his shoulder reassuringly. 

“It’s going to be fine, babe,” he murmured. “And if it’s not, then we’ll deal with it, OK? So stop worrying. We’ll go see him as soon as he gets back from his meeting with the Chief.” 

Blair nodded and grinned a bit sheepishly up at him. “OK, Jim. It’s got to be done, I know. He just scares me is all,” he chuckled ruefully, grateful when Jim squeezed his shoulder briefly. He trusted in Jim’s reading of the situation as he had known the captain as a friend for several years now, so who was Blair to doubt him? 

And then the bullpen doors opened to admit the man himself, and Blair mentally girded his loins to get the meeting under way and over with as soon as possible.  


\---------------------  


A short while later, an uncomfortable silence reigned in Simon’s office as the captain contemplated the two men seated in front of him. Leaning his elbows on his desk, chin resting on his steepled fingers, his shrewd gaze moved between them as he digested their news. Jim sat up straight, his rigid back and shoulders betraying his military background while his face remained studiously expressionless beneath his captain’s regard. 

On the other hand, young Sandburg looked like a deer in the headlights, his nervousness almost tangible even though his innate courage and stubbornness prevented him from running for the hills. 

Heaving a deep sigh, Simon decided to let them off the hook. Yes, he was disappointed that they hadn’t felt able to inform him of their new status before now, but he understood their reasoning, and it was time to let them know it. 

“OK, gentlemen. I did wonder when you were finally going to let the cat out of the bag. I have to say that I’m hurt that you couldn’t trust me with this information before now, but I appreciate that you had my best interests at heart. It’s true that significant others aren’t supposed to ride together, but since you’re not coming out to the PD as a whole, I don’t have a problem with continuing to let Sandburg ride with you, Jim, because he is still a civilian after all. And should he ever get that official consultant’s position, he’ll still be a civilian, so I don’t think the rules will apply. Especially as he’ll have to make himself available to other departments as needed. 

“But I think you’d be surprised at how your colleagues already think of you guys,” he continued with a sardonic grin. “I just wonder how big the pool has grown, and who’ll finally win it!” he snickered, amused at the horrified expression on Blair’s face. 

“Oh, come on, kid,” he chuckled. “You can’t think that folks haven’t noticed how you two interact! Hell, you’re so far into Jim’s personal space all the time that we all think you’re joined at the hip!” 

At that, Jim’s face softened into a smirk. “He’s right, Chief,” he added gently. “I didn’t want to worry you, but I’ve got a fair idea that our secret’s no secret to most folks,” and he tapped his ear suggestively. 

Blair tried to look angry, but instead just shook his head in reluctant acceptance and relief. “You could have told me, man!” he murmured accusingly, but the soft smile on his face took the sting out of his words. “But I still don’t want to make it public, Sim…er…sir,” he added, gazing worriedly at the captain. “I’m still frightened that there are some in the PD who will take our relationship badly, and although I don’t care much about what they think of me – hell, I’ve heard some of the things they call me already – but I don’t want Jim to suffer from their bigotry.” 

At that, Jim reached over and patted his knee. “Stop angsting, Chief,” he said firmly. “If they don’t like it, they know what they can do with themselves, kiddo. _I’m_ not going to worry, because I’m sure our real friends will have our backs. And if it all goes pear-shaped, then we’ll find some other way to protect the tribe!” 

“God willing, that’ll never happen!” Simon interjected. “As far as I’m concerned, I want to keep my best team for as long as possible. You’re a credit to the unit, but it’s more than that. I consider you to be friends as well as subordinates, and yes, Blair, that goes for you also! You irritate the crap out of me most of the time, but you’re good for this big galoot, and the whole department benefits from your influence. 

“So, is there anything else? Because I’m sure you both have plenty of work to be getting along with!” he snapped in gruff dismissal. 

It was clear to Jim and Blair that Simon had had enough of the emotional blood-letting for the time being, so they grinned and rose as one, unaware of Simon’s fond glance as they left the office in complete harmony once more. It was yet to be seen if that depth of affection would still be there once he learned of Jim’s daughter, but that was too much to lay on their friend all at once, so was something they’d deal with at a much later date. 

Or so they thought.  


\--------------------------  


**Chapter 2: Revenge and Repercussions:**  


Although she had mere weeks to go before her predicted birth date, Kathleen was still reluctant to take maternity leave because she really wanted to close the Donnelly case once and for all. She had been instrumental in the capture and charging of the notorious mobster, and now he was finally coming up for trial, as a special witness for the prosecution she wanted to be there for his sentencing. The man was an evil scumbag with a finger in many pies from drugs and gun-running to prostitution, and it was important to her to play her part in putting him away for life before she had her baby. His influence was far-reaching, and it would be a crowning achievement in her career if she could help bring him down, apart from providing her with immense personal satisfaction for helping get him off the streets of Cascade. And just that morning she had learned that the date for his trial was set, and she was determined to be there. 

Deciding to take an early lunch, she left her office in the District Attorney’s building and took the elevator down to the parking garage in the basement. She had the car to herself, and as she descended, she pondered the state of her relationship with Jim Ellison. To be sure, she had been upset and embarrassed by their confrontation earlier, and in retrospect she realised now that she really shouldn’t have even tried to force some sort of permanent partnership with him. It was true that, although they had found each other sexually attractive, there was no love between them, just friendship and professional respect. And try as she might, she couldn’t dislike Blair Sandburg either. He was just too nice a person, and she was somewhat surprised to realise that she would have no qualms about letting him have contact with her baby either. 

But now things were on a much more even keel between all three of them, and although she and Jim had yet to reveal publically their relationship in respect of the baby’s parentage, she had taken pains to draw up legal documentation confirming Jim’s paternity so that, in the event of something untoward happening to her, he would have complete access to and responsibility for her as yet unborn daughter. 

Not that she expected any complications, however. She had had a remarkably easy pregnancy, and according to her physician she was as healthy as a horse, so she wasn’t even unduly worried about the actual birth. She just hoped that she would be able to return to work in a relatively short time, because she truly loved her job in the DA’s office. 

Smiling softly to herself, she ambled slowly over to where her Toyota sedan was parked, absent-mindedly rubbing the small of her back which was aching somewhat in the way of heavily pregnant women the world over. She’d be glad once her daughter was born, for sure, because she was getting heartily fed up with waddling around like an oversized duck. But she knew it would be worth it, and her smile grew as she contemplated the first time she would be able to hold her daughter. 

She had just reached her vehicle and opened the driver’s door when she suddenly became aware of a prickling sensation between her shoulder blades. She instinctively knew she was being watched, and tried to turn to see who was there. 

Too late. 

A heavy blow to her back sent her reeling into the car, sprawling across the driver’s seat as her hand instinctively slammed against the horn, blasting it for as long as she was able to raise the alarm. The squealing of tyres in the background accompanied the shock of knowing she’d been shot in the back, and seconds later she was stricken by pure agony, her last conscious thoughts concern for the fate of the baby in her womb.  


\-------------------------  


**MCU bullpen, same morning:**  


Jim stared reproachfully at the pile of paperwork still sitting in his in-tray, wryly thinking that somehow the damned stuff spontaneously reproduced every time he looked away. He desperately missed his willing helper, but appreciated the reason behind Blair’s absence, so grinning ruefully, he reached for the next unfinished report. 

In truth, over the past few weeks Blair had kept up a punishing schedule which would have exhausted a less energetic person. Having decided to change his diss topic, he had told Jim that he wanted to be in a much more financially secure position by the time Kathleen’s baby arrived, so that he could help support Jim as much as possible with Jim’s parental responsibilities. He therefore wanted to get the paper finished, presented and defended as soon as he realistically could so that he could take up the consultant’s position Simon had now procured for him. Of course, he also had to juggle his responsibilities to Rainier as well as making himself available to Jim whenever possible, so it was only right that Jim should cut him some slack where it came to busy work like writing up reports. 

Shaking his head fondly, Jim recalled Blair’s news only last night as he lay sated and happily relaxed, cuddled in Jim’s arms in their big bed after some truly satisfying sex. He had told Jim that the first draft of the diss was done, and provided it passed muster with his friend and mentor, Dr Eli Stoddard, he would get it tidied up and hopefully be in a position to submit within the next couple of weeks. 

Jim had been understandably thrilled for him, and in all honesty, for himself too. Blair deserved the doctorate, and if it meant that he could officially ride with Jim, then Jim couldn’t have been happier. 

Sure, he did feel somewhat guilty every time Blair was in danger, or even hurt, while accompanying him on the job, but his young lover insisted that it was his choice, and he was content with it. 

One thing Jim did worry about was that Blair would come to regret not joining Eli on faculty once he had achieved his degree. He knew that Stoddard dearly wished for Blair to take up a full teaching role, and go for tenure in due course, but had to be satisfied with offering his young colleague the chance of an adjunct professorship instead. Blair would be available to teach and lecture on an ad hoc basis, but the majority of his time would be spent at the PD. 

However, when quizzed about his decision, Blair insisted that it was exactly what he wanted, and Jim just had to be content with that. And he certainly wasn’t going to complain. He considered himself to be one lucky guy, and promised himself that he would do everything in his power to ensure that Blair never regretted his choice of career. 

Just then the ringing of his cell phone distracted him from his brief reverie, and he reached for it ill-temperedly. “Ellison!” he barked ungraciously, only to gradually subside as the caller announced himself and explained the reason for the call. And by the time he finished, Jim was greyish-white with shock. 

“Ah, is that Detective Jim Ellison? My name is Doctor Bayliss, Cascade General Hospital ER unit. Your name came up as the emergency contact for a Kathleen Harris. Is that correct?” 

Nodding shakily, Jim replied, “Er, yes. Yes, I do know Kathleen. Is she OK? Is it the baby? I thought she wasn’t due for another few weeks at least.” 

The voice at the other end of the line was genuinely sympathetic, but couldn’t soften the blow his news dealt his listener. 

“No, it’s not that, Detective Ellison. Well, not exactly. I’m so sorry to tell you that Ms Harris was the victim of a shooting. She was rushed here with a serious bullet wound to her back, and I’m afraid she died on the operating table. I’m so sorry, sir.” 

Aghast, Jim sagged down into his chair. “Uh, what about the baby? Is the baby dead too?” he choked out, horror colouring his tone. 

“Ah, no, Detective. That’s the one good piece of news I can give you. The baby – a little girl – was delivered successfully by Caesarean section, and although she’s a little on the small side, she’s healthy and perfectly viable.” 

“Oh, thank god!” Jim breathed. “Can I see her? Now?” 

“Yes, Detective, by all means come in to the hospital. I’m only sorry to have had to give you the shocking news about the mother. Goodbye, sir,” and the doctor terminated the call. 

Jim stared at the phone in his hand for a long moment, as if expecting it to either ring again or morph into some sort of venomous creature. Then he shook himself and rose to his feet, hurrying across the bullpen to Simon’s office, heedless of the inquisitive looks following his progress.  


\---------------------------------  


From his seat behind his desk, Simon glared up at the rude interruption as his lead detective burst into his inner sanctum without even the courtesy of knocking first. He had only recently returned from a bitch of a meeting with the Chief and Commissioner regarding the City’s most recent and unsatisfactory financial proposition for the PD, and was in no mood for Ellison’s attitude. However, a second glance at Jim’s face gave him pause and he bit off the caustic comment he had been about to make. He didn’t think he’d ever seen such a devastated look on his stoic detective’s face, and he immediately rose to his feet. 

“Jim, man! Sit down before you fall down, man. What is it? Is Blair OK?” he asked, truly fearful that Jim’s loyal partner and lover had come to some harm. Fanciful although it may seem, he was convinced that if anything happened to Sandburg, Ellison would follow soon after. 

Jim met his gaze then, and made a supreme effort to pull himself together. “No, Simon. Not Blair, thank the gods. But something has happened, and it’s bad.” 

“Well, out with it, Jim!” Simon demanded, rising to busy himself with preparing a mug of gourmet coffee from his private stash. “Here, take this, my friend” he added, thrusting the steaming mug into Jim’s somewhat shaky hand. 

Jim nodded distractedly in gratitude, then raised his eyes to meet Simon’s worried brown gaze. 

“It’s Kathleen, Simon. Kathleen Harris. She’s been shot. And she’s dead!” 

Simon frowned at the information. Yes, he knew Harris by reputation, and he respected her greatly. He also knew she was heavily pregnant, so that the shooting was particularly callous. But why Jim should be in such a state was beyond him….unless? 

“I’m truly sorry to hear that, Jim. She was a great prosecutor. But why was she so important to you? You haven’t been doing anything that would hurt Blair, have you?” he added suspiciously. 

Jim stared at him for a moment, then shook himself out of his mini funk. Of course, Simon didn’t know about the baby. No one did yet except for Kathleen, her physician, himself and Blair. And whoever drew up her legal documents, of course. 

“Uh, no. No, Simon. But there’s something you should know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, but Kathleen didn’t want it known until the baby was born. See, before Blair and I became an item, I…er…slept with her. After arresting Donnelly. I mean, we were both hyped, and it just happened. Just a one night stand is all. But she got pregnant, and I know for sure that the baby’s mine. Blair knows about it if that’s what’s worrying you, and although he was shocked at first, he accepts the situation, and knows that I want access to the baby. 

“And the doctor I just spoke to says the baby is OK. Delivered by section after her mother…Kathleen…died in the OR. I need to get to the hospital, Simon. And I need to contact Blair!” 

For a long moment, Simon just gawped at him, speechless with shock, but then he shook himself and stood. “Well, OK, then, Jim. Let’s get moving! I’ll drive, and you can call Blair on the way. No way are you going to get in your truck in your state, so come on!” and with that he headed for the door, knowing that Jim was right behind him.  


\-------------------------  


**Blair’s office, Rainier campus:**  


Blair closed the last blue book and placed it on the pile beside him with a sigh of relief. It had been one heck of a morning so far, but he was finally up to date, and so he allowed himself a small smile of satisfaction. One lecture, one tutorial group and a whole stack of marking had all been dealt with, which meant that – all being well – he might be able to leave earlier than he imagined and join Jim at the PD. He knew that the big detective didn’t expect to need to use his senses today, which is why Blair had taken a few hours to himself to catch up at the U, but now he felt able to sneak away without the need for guilt or obfuscation. His diss was all but finished, and after a final proofing, he would be submitting it at the end of the week, hopefully to defend it shortly afterwards. 

Sitting back in his seat, he stretched luxuriously and examined his thoughts and feelings for a moment regarding that momentous occasion. The satisfaction he felt at accomplishing his self-imposed goal warmed him through and through, knowing that Jim was behind him all the way. The paper might not have the flair and enthusiasm of the original ‘Sentinel’ paper, but he wasn’t too upset about that. As long as it earned him his much-coveted PhD, that was what mattered, and he was already re-writing his sentinel findings into an instruction manual which he hoped that others like Jim might find informative. Everything was going to plan, and he couldn’t have been happier. 

And in retrospect, he realised that he really shouldn’t have allowed himself to be so complacent.  


\------------------------------  


He was just packing his laptop away in preparation for leaving when the phone on his desk trilled. The double ring meant that it was an outside line, and suddenly he shuddered briefly with that odd feeling that someone had walked over his grave. He instinctively knew that it was Jim calling him, and whatever he had to tell Blair, it wasn’t going to be good. Picking up the receiver, he answered somewhat worriedly, “Hello? Blair Sandburg here. Uh, is that you, Jim?” 

The slight, uncharacteristic pause before his caller answered him hinted at great disquiet, and Blair swallowed hard as Jim began to speak. His lover’s tone was hesitant and cracked, and completely unlike his normal delivery. 

“Chief, I need you to meet me at Cascade General Hospital. It’s important, babe. Please, just come, OK?” 

Frightened now by the cryptic words, Blair replied, “Why, Jim? What’s wrong? Is it one of the guys? Your family? Please, man, you’ve got to tell me more than that!” 

“Blair, please! Look, it’s Kathleen, OK? Just come!” 

“Oh my god, oh my god,” Blair babbled, feeling his panic rising. “It’s the baby isn’t it? She’s lost the baby!” he almost sobbed. 

“No! No, Blair! The…the baby’s OK. It’s Kathleen. She’s dead, Chief. Shot in the back. An ambush. I just need you to come to the hospital, OK? Simon’s driving me, and we’re nearly there.” 

“O…OK, Jim. I’m coming! I’m leaving now!” Blair replied, but just before he put the handset down he heard Jim say, “Take care, babe! Drive carefully, OK?” 

The unspoken sub-text was there for Blair to hear: _I love you, please don’t get hurt too. I couldn’t bear that!_

“Yeah, I will,” Blair whispered sentinel-soft. “Love you too, man. Be there soon!”  


\-------------------------  


**Cascade General Hospital, shortly afterwards:**  


Blair burst through the ER’s main doors, eyes searching frantically for any sign of Jim or Simon. Rushing up to the reception desk, he gasped out, “Do you know where Detective Ellison is? He came in following a shooting. A Ms Kathleen Harris….” 

Unsurprisingly, the harried receptionist looked askance at the wild-eyed young man, prepared to offer a curt response when a large hand grasped Blair’s shoulder. 

“Easy, Sandburg!” Simon’s deep voice easily captured Blair’s attention as he spun around to face the tall captain. “Jim’s OK. We’re over in the waiting area. Come on, kid,” and he ushered Blair before him to cross the busy space until they entered a slightly quieter zone where anxious visitors sat on uncomfortable generic chairs awaiting news of their loved ones. 

Jim was already looking out for Blair as the pair entered the waiting room, his face still pale but offering his lover a faint smile of relief and welcome as Blair hurried over to him, leaving Simon a little way behind. It was obvious to both of them by the expression in each other’s eyes that they would dearly like to hug each other in mutual comfort, but the other occupants’ likely precious sensibilities prevented that type of PDA in this location. Nevertheless, Jim reached out a hand to Blair, murmuring, “Thanks for coming so quickly, Chief. As yet we haven’t been told that much about Kathleen’s injuries, only that she didn’t make it. And I’m still waiting to see the baby.” 

Blair sat down beside him, and gazed worriedly into his lover’s sad eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jim. Truly. I mean, I liked Kathleen. She was great at her job, and once she realised how you felt about her, she really seemed to accept the situation. Do you know yet what happened?” 

Jim shook his head. “Nothing specific, Chief, apart from that fact that it was obviously planned. But I have to confess that I’m more concerned about the baby at the moment. I just want to see her, and see that she’s OK,” and he glanced away for a moment, guiltily ashamed of his feelings, although he should have known that Blair would understand. 

“No, Jim, don’t feel guilty, man! It’s only natural that you should worry about your daughter’s health first. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you care more about her than what happened to her mother under the circumstances.” 

Jim regarded him affectionately. “Thanks, Chief. I can always rely on you to make me feel better. But I hope they don’t keep me waiting too long. I know that I’m noted in Kathleen’s medical records as the father of her child, so I don’t understand the delay.” 

Just then, Simon pulled a chair around and sat down facing them, his dark face expressing nothing but sympathy and understanding. “It’s probably because they need to get her settled properly first, Jim,” he murmured. “It’ll have been a traumatic delivery, and she’s also somewhat premature too. But in the meantime, I’ve been in touch with the PD and the DA’s office, and this is what I’ve learned so far. 

“Apparently Kathleen was alone at the time of the shooting, having gone down to the parking garage by herself. She told her secretary that she was taking an early lunch, but that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Anyhow, CCTV footage shows her approaching her car, but then a shadowy figure appears behind her, and shoots her in the back at fairly close range before she can turn around. She falls into her vehicle, and the shooter jumps into another vehicle that takes off at speed, and exits the garage before the gates can be locked down. 

“Now, according to the footage, the shooter was driving a vehicle registered to a relatively minor legal assistant, and it was found abandoned only a couple of blocks away from the DA’s office building. It’s already on its way to be checked over by Forensics. Whoever was driving it obviously had the correct ID in order to access the parking garage, because security is reasonably tight and requires a valid pass as well as automatic plate recognition, so the first step was to check out the whereabouts of the assistant. And Captain Phelps from Homicide tells me that a couple of his guys just found the assistant dead in his apartment, his car keys and ID missing. Probably some clothing too. I’m guessing he must have been targeted deliberately by whoever did the killing. 

“So this was obviously a carefully planned attack – probably a contract killing – but by whom is the question. I know who I suspect, and I’m thinking that you do too, Jim. But how to prove it?” 

Looking grim, Jim nodded sharply. “I’m thinking Donnelly, Simon. You too?” And at Simon’s answering nod, he continued, “But how the hell he managed to coordinate it from within a maximum security lockup the gods only know. But sure as hell I’d like to find out!” he growled, his eyes taking on a deadly gleam. 

“You and me both,” Simon replied feelingly, “but you know I can’t let you take the lead on this. You’re too close to the victim. But before you explode, my friend, I can tell you that I’ve asked Captain Phelps if our two departments can work together on this, and I propose to let Megan and Joel take the case. And you two can do some background stuff, OK? It’s the best I can do, Jim.” 

For a long moment, it looked as if Jim was going to argue, but then he nodded brusquely again. “Fair enough, Simon. I understand. But as soon as I’ve seen my daughter, I’d like to look at that CCTV footage. You know, see if I can pick out more detail,” and he exchanged a speaking glance with his captain. 

“OK, Jim. I’ll see what I can do,” Simon replied. “But right now I think you’re about to get some good news,” and he nodded over towards a figure in a white coat who was approaching from behind them. 

A tired-looking young man smiled at the three as they stood to meet him. “Detective Ellison? I’m Doctor Bayliss. I wanted to tell you that you can go up to see your daughter now, but just for a moment, OK? She’s been placed in the Maternity Ward’s premature baby unit on the third floor, but you can take a peek to put your mind at rest. I’m afraid I can’t give you any more details about her condition - her attending paediatrician will have to do that – but at least you’ll be able to see her for yourself.” 

Jim’s answering smile lit up his tired features for a moment. “Thanks, Dr Bayliss. I’ll go up right now,” and after offering the physician his hand, he strode quickly over to the elevators, Simon and Blair close behind. He had a daughter to meet.  


\-------------------------  


**Chapter 3: Problems and Practicalities of Parenting:**  


Jim and Blair peered through the glass window of the special care baby unit, their faces betraying their mixed emotions. The tiny shape in the Perspex bassinet captured their attention entirely, and they couldn’t take their eyes off her. For Jim, there was complete amazement that he could have had anything to do with producing such a miracle, but there was far more to it than that. Although he was so grateful that she was alive, she looked distressed, her tiny face creased in what appeared to be severe discomfort, and he longed to hold her precious but so-fragile form in his arms. 

And as for Blair, he fell in love at first sight. This tiny girl was the offspring of his adored lover, and he felt an immediate pull towards her, such that he couldn’t wait to get her home so he could help care for her as he cared for her father. But he too was concerned about her discomfort, and had already had the first hint of suspicion of what was wrong with her, although he needed to talk to Jim about it in private. 

After taking a quick peek himself, Simon had left them there so he could carry on with the investigation into Kathleen’s murder, but Jim had no intention of leaving until he knew more about his daughter’s condition; and, more particularly, when he could take her home. 

Just then, a kindly looking middle aged woman approached them, her white coat and name tag identifying her as Doctor Anderson, the paediatric specialist in charge of the unit. 

“Detective Ellison? My name is Sylvia Anderson, and I wanted to have a word with you about your daughter. Shall we take a seat?” and she indicated a small seating area off the ward’s main corridor. 

Jim nodded quickly. “Hello, Dr Anderson. Yes, please. I need to know as much as you can tell me. And this is my partner, Blair Sandburg,” he added, his manner leaving the doctor in no doubt what kind of partner he was talking about. 

“Pleased to meet you, Mr Sandburg,” she greeted him amicably; content to accept the situation as it appeared. It was no business of hers after all what domestic arrangements her little patient’s father was involved in, as long as he was capable of taking good care of his daughter. 

Once they were seated, Dr Anderson began immediately. “Detective Ellison, I’m so sorry about your…I mean, the baby’s mother. I understand that it was a shooting, and I’m only glad that her baby survived it. As I’m sure are you. But anyhow, Ms Harris’ medical records make it very clear that you are the baby’s natural father, and she also made it clear that in the case of anything happening to her, you should have full responsibility for the child. 

“Now, I’m afraid it’s not up to me to give you the go-ahead at this stage until all legal requirements and proofs are accepted, but in the meantime, your daughter will need to stay in this unit for a couple of weeks at least. She is within an acceptable weight range, but is a good month premature, and will need careful monitoring until we are sure she can go home.” 

“But she will be able to go home with me, Dr Anderson,” Jim said, his words a statement rather than a question. 

The doctor gazed at him for a long moment. “I believe so, Detective Ellison, but as I say, it won’t be up to me. But I’m sure once Ms Harris’ Will is read and her wishes made known, everything will be made clear. 

“By the way, according to her file, she had already decided she wanted to call the baby Natalie, after her mother. Is that OK with you?” 

Jim thought about it for a moment, then smiled softly. “That’s fine, Doctor,” he murmured. “Natalie it is. Natalie Kathleen Harris Ellison. Has a nice ring to it!” and he exchanged a loving glance with Blair, who was grinning fit to burst. 

“OK then, so, about Natalie’s condition,” Dr Anderson continued, all business again. “While she is in good overall health for a baby delivered under such traumatic circumstances, she is obviously suffering quite a bit of discomfort, and at the moment the cause is uncertain. She has tried to feed, but is very fussy, but we won’t worry about that yet unless it continues. But she also appears to have quite the headache, and that is what concerns me the most. I can’t give you permission to hold her yet until I’ve observed her for a while longer, but if you come back this evening, I hope that I’ll have more news for you. Is that OK?” 

Jim’s frown suggested that it wasn’t, but he knew he couldn’t argue at this stage, much as he wanted to. Sighing deeply, he said, “I guess so, Dr Anderson. But we’ll be back later as you say, and I’d like to be able to at least see her close to and touch her!” 

The doctor smiled understandingly. “I hope so too, Detective Ellison. I hope so too.” 

Jim nodded again and rose to his feet. “Call me Jim, Dr Anderson. And I’ll see you later.” 

“And I’m Blair,” his partner added with a sweet smile. “See you tonight!” And as the doctor took her leave of them and went about her business, they returned to the glass window to gaze at the tiny bundle of mewling baby. 

“Goddess, she’s so tiny!” breathed Blair wonderingly. “But she’s beautiful, Jim. Let’s just hope we can get to see her properly soon!” 

“Yeah. Let’s hope,” Jim muttered. “I need to hold her, Chief. I never thought I’d ever feel like this towards a child, but I really need to hold her – keep her safe.” 

“And you will,” Blair said, wrapping a comforting arm around Jim’s waist. “You’re going to make a great Dad, and I’m so looking forward to helping you.” 

Jim smiled down at him then. “And there’s nothing I want more, babe,” he said softly, and then, with a final glance, they made their way out of the unit to return to the PD. 

Jim had some CCTV footage to study.  


\---------------------------  


Later that evening, two tired but determined men returned to the hospital, both eager to see how baby Natalie was doing. It had been a busy but productive afternoon, and Jim was quietly gratified that he had managed to contribute significantly to the investigation into Kathleen’s killer. With Blair beside him to ground him, he had scoured the CCTV footage from the DA’s parking garage, and sentinel vision had picked up on what forensic scanning hadn’t been able to – a single brief shot of the driver’s face. Although too blurred to be recognisable even using appropriate technology, he had been able to discern enough of the killer’s features to be able to identify the man as a contract killer well-known to law enforcement agencies within Washington State, and probably beyond also. An immediate APB had been put out on the man, and it was hoped that he would soon be apprehended. 

And once that had been accomplished, it would be up to the investigating officers to tie him in with Donnelly, if indeed the gang boss had been responsible for the hit. 

But for now Jim’s job was done, and all he wanted was to check on his daughter, especially as both he and Blair were concerned for her for a specific reason. Blair had broached the subject with him earlier, and he had reluctantly agreed that it was very possible that Natalie had inherited at least part of her father’s sentinel gift, and so would need their particular brand of care and understanding in order to thrive. 

“Jim, man,” Blair had said, the anxiety plain to see on his face as he gazed at his angry and frustrated lover. “It’s not a disaster, man! Please don’t be so upset. See, I know you had a traumatic childhood, which is why you’ve never really liked or wanted the senses, but it’ll be different for Natalie. Between us, we _know_ how to care for her. She’ll never have to repress them like you had to because we know she’s not a freak! She’ll be able to control them from the get-go, because we’ll teach her how, and for her they’ll truly be a gift!” 

Jim knew he’d been less than receptive to Blair’s plea, but had come around the more he thought about it. He had learned to trust in Blair after all, and as long as he had the young man to guide and support him, he felt able to take on the responsibility of raising a child with the same ability as his own. Blair would never knowingly let him down, and Jim was certain he would have the same desire to care for and cherish Jim’s daughter. 

And as Blair had also pointed out, even if their suspicions were correct, they still didn’t need to reveal Jim’s secret anyway. All they needed to stress to the nursing staff caring for Natalie was that her father was particularly sensitive to certain medications and materials, and she had probably inherited his acute hearing also, which was all in his own medical file anyway. As long as the nurses were prepared to listen to Blair’s recommendations during her stay, and one or the other of them was able to remain with her most of the time, Jim felt reasonably hopeful that all would be well. And once they got her home, he knew that Blair would ensure that everything necessary for bringing up a baby sentinel would be in place, be it through care and guidance or in providing a suitable, sentinel-friendly environment. 

However, when they arrived at the unit, they found that the situation was about to get far more complicated than they had envisaged.  


\---------------------------  


As they approached the quiet, private room to which Natalie had been transferred, they were met with a most disturbing scene. Dr Anderson was speaking quietly but vehemently to an older couple, while a desperately distressed baby cried in the arms of the paediatric nurse who was trying to coax her to feed from a bottle. 

Furiously angry, Jim strode up to the group, Blair close behind. Keeping his voice down in deference to the location and to his daughter’s discomfort, yet his tone brooked no argument as he demanded, “What the hell’s going on, Doctor? Who are these people, and what’s wrong with my daughter?” 

Dr Anderson looked both relieved to see him, and deeply frustrated as she carefully took his arm and urged him to leave the room, indicating that the other couple accompany them. She closed the door carefully, then turned to address the group. 

“Detective Ellison, Jim. I’d like to introduce you to Mr and Mrs Anton Harris, Kathleen’s parents. They’re here to see baby Natalie, having officially identified their daughter.” 

Jim stared at her for a moment, then took a deep calming breath, forcing himself to rein in his impatience. He turned to look at the pair, feeling their hurt, and genuinely sympathetic as he addressed them. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Mr and Mrs Harris. Kathleen was a special person, and she didn’t deserve what happened to her.” 

He was taken aback by Mrs Harris’ response, even as he noted the anger and determination beneath the care and grief starkly outlined on her somewhat haughty features. 

“So, you’re the detective who Kathleen fell for, are you? I hope you’re proud of yourself! I know she wanted to make a go of a relationship with you – to provide a stable family for the baby – even though we disapproved of her choice. But now I learn that you’re in a relationship with another man! How in the name of God can you intend to take my granddaughter home with you…and…and _that boy!_ ” she spat, making the word sound like an insult. 

Even as her husband reached out to take her arm in a calming gesture, Jim found himself responding with quiet dignity despite being hugely affronted on both his and Blair’s behalf. These people had every right to their grief, but there was no call for such vitriol, and he wasn’t about to take it lying down. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Mrs Harris, and I understand that your profound grief is fuelling your anger, but you have no right to insult me and my partner like that. Kathleen knew and understood about my domestic arrangements, and we had come to an amicable agreement as regards Natalie’s upbringing. And I am determined to do my best for my daughter, as per Kathleen’s own wishes.” 

“Over my dead body!” Mrs Harris hissed venomously. “I don’t care what the lawyers say. I insist on taking that baby home with me. Anton and I will bring up my granddaughter, because no…no _gay_ couple can possibly be expected to do it right!” 

Before Jim could respond, Dr Anderson quickly interrupted. “Mrs Harris, I must ask you to calm down! I know you and your husband have had a profound shock, but this is a hospital ward, and no place for an argument. Baby Natalie is distressed enough without this added disturbance. It may well be that Social Services might want to step in to determine who is best placed to care for the child, but for now we must respect Kathleen’s wishes and allow the baby’s father to visit.” 

Suddenly, she was distracted by Jim’s averted gaze, and turned to see what had attracted his attention, as did Kathleen’s parents also. Inside the small room, Blair had entered unnoticed while the altercation was going on outside. His attention focussed entirely on the crying baby, he smiled gently at the upset and frustrated nurse who was struggling to settle her charge enough to feed her. “Can I try?” he murmured softly, using his most persuasive wide-eyed ‘puppy dog’ look. 

Although at first automatically shaking her head in denial, the nurse frowned when the baby abruptly stopped crying, almost as if she was listening to the newcomer. And when Blair held out his hand to gently stroke her face, a tiny hand reached up to grasp his finger in a surprisingly strong grip. Blair’s smile was radiant as he gazed down at her, and the nurse looked from him to the baby in amazement. 

“Here you go,” she said, trusting in her own instincts. “Take her, like this,” and she carefully placed the small bundle into Blair’s waiting arms. 

And completely unaware of the astounded audience watching from the window, Blair settled himself in the padded chair the nurse indicated, and took the bottle. And as he crooned almost sub-vocally, Natalie relaxed in his arms and finally began to feed. 

Within a remarkably short time, she had taken a good amount of formula, and after being gently burped, fell sound asleep on Blair’s chest as he rocked her, his face suffused with love for this new little Ellison girl. It was clear to Jim that his daughter instinctively trusted and accepted Blair as a guide just as did her father, and his relief knew no bounds. 

Swallowing hard against the emotion threatening to choke him at the wonderful sight, Jim turned to look at his companions to gauge their reactions. 

Dr Anderson looked quietly astonished, never having seen anything quite like it in all her years as a professional paediatrician. She had been about to explain to Jim how concerned she was about his little daughter’s behaviour, but this was an almost miraculous transformation. Young Mr Sandburg apparently knew exactly how to deal with the fractious baby, and she couldn’t fault his methods. 

As for Mrs Harris, tears spilled from her eyes as she was forced to admit that the boy seemed to know what he was doing after all. Natalie hadn’t responded to either her or her husband like that, and in fact had screamed when she had been placed in her grandmother’s arms. And if she responded as satisfactorily when her father held her, it was likely that professional recommendation would be for the baby to be raised by Jim Ellison and his partner after all. 

“Can we go in?” Jim asked the doctor. “I’d like to see my daughter now.” 

Dr Anderson nodded and smiled. “I think that would be a good idea, Jim. Let’s see if Natalie will relax with you too. Blair seems to have charmed her, doesn’t he?” 

Jim grinned wryly as his eyes twinkled. “Yeah, he does tend to have that effect on people!” he agreed as he opened the door, moving quietly up to where his lover sat smiling up at him. 

“You want to hold her, Dad?” he murmured sentinel-soft. 

Jim nodded and held out his arms to receive his daughter, who didn’t stir at all as he took the seat Blair vacated for him. And the profound peace and satisfaction he felt as he listened to her tiny heart beating against his chest both humbled and filled him with such deep affection that he thought his own heart would burst. With Blair’s love and support, they could do this. They could nurture Natalie and make certain that she learned to accept her gift and live comfortably with it. It was a duty he knew that they both accepted without reservation, and he was content.   


\----------------------------  


**Chapter 4: Chez Sandburg-Ellison:**  


**Several months later, the loft:**  


“Honey, I’m home!” Jim sang out as he opened the door to the loft, stopping just within to enjoy the sight that greeted him. Blair was walking towards him, the baby in his arms, and both were grinning at Jim in unfeigned delight to see him back. As his daughter reached out to him, Jim closed the distance between them and took her in his arms, giving her a quick squeeze and sloppy smooch on the cheek as he smiled into big blue eyes which were so like his. And as she giggled and poked a curious finger into his ear, he leaned down and kissed Blair deeply before moving over to the sofa to sit with the baby in his lap. Blair sat beside him, his own expression one of love and contentment as he watched Jim cuddle and tickle the happy child, thrilled at the way that she reacted to her Daddy. 

“You know, Jim, Netty knew you were on the way, I’m sure,” he murmured, grinning when Jim raised a quizzical eyebrow at him. The affectionate nickname had been bestowed on her almost immediately after her birth by her devoted ‘Stepdaddy Blair’, and had stuck with her, with Jim’s whole-hearted approval. 

“One minute she was sitting on her mat playing, and the next she was staring at the door, and reaching out for me to pick her up. I really believe her hearing is as good as yours, lover.” 

Jim nodded thoughtfully. “I think you’re probably right, babe,” he agreed. And that in itself was an indication at how much he had changed when it came to his attitude concerning the senses. Having shared the responsibility of raising his talented daughter for a few months, he now accepted them as the gift they were, and all because he had Blair to back him up and make him believe. It had helped him personally to stop fighting them and accept them as part of who he was at long last; something which he was ruefully aware that Blair had been trying to convince him to do for years. 

Laughing softly at the small hands patting his face as Netty gurgled happily, he glanced over at Blair. 

“So, babe, what have you two been up to today?” and he wasn’t disappointed when Blair’s face lit up even more. 

“Netty pulled herself upright against the sofa, Jim,” he said excitedly, reaching out to gently ruffle Netty’s growing curls. “I think she’ll be walking very soon, lover. She’s so much improved, and the social worker who visited today admitted that she would never have believed how much she’s grown and developed. She told me that, if she hadn’t known Netty’s history, she would have laughed at the very idea that Netty had been premature or had any difficulties after birth at all. And since Netty behaved beautifully while she was being weighed and checked over, she had no reason to question her sensitivity. I was so proud of her, Jim,” and he smiled lovingly at his adorable and adored charge. 

Jim reached out and cupped his partner’s face for a moment, smiling into Blair’s beautiful eyes. “And so much of that is down to you, my love,” he murmured seriously. “How could we have been so lucky?” and it was obvious that he meant both him and his daughter. 

Blair blushed at the sincere compliment even as he reached up and held Jim’s hand against his face. “No more than I am, lover,” he replied softly. “I have a real home and a family, and I couldn’t be happier. I have everything I ever wanted.” 

And Jim knew he meant every word.  


\-----------------------------  


As soon as both men had known that they were correct in their assumption that Netty had at least some heightened senses, they made a mutual decision to take enough leave between them so that one of them could remain with her during her hospital stay. And then Blair had taken it a stage further, to Jim’s undying gratitude. 

Because it had been nearing the end of the academic year anyway, in effect his lover had taken a sabbatical, clearing himself until at least the end of the summer break. Not only that, but he had submitted his dissertation, defending it successfully and earning his doctorate, so that Jim was now living with a fully-fledged Doctor of Anthropology, and he couldn’t have been more proud of his young guide and lover. 

Once Netty had been deemed healthy enough to be discharged from hospital, Jim knew he had to return to work, while Blair insisted he was perfectly happy to stay at home and care for the baby until such time as they could find a suitable day carer for her. And that in itself wasn’t going to be an easy task, as the candidate would have to be particularly understanding and sympathetic to the baby’s specific needs. 

Of course, it had also meant that Blair wasn’t able to take up his new role as official consultant at the PD yet, but Simon had been very understanding. As Jim was so much easier with his own senses now, he was able to use them to a greater extent in the field without too much difficulty, provided he didn’t try to over-extend them without backup – which of course was best provided by his guide. But in Blair’s temporary absence, he had agreed that Megan and Joel be clued into their secret so that they could accompany Jim when needed and could at least be aware of potential problems. It wasn’t the most satisfactory option, but it would suffice until Blair could take up his position at least on a part-time basis. And as Jim could return home every night to his guide and lover, he was able to indulge himself in Blair’s physical and spiritual presence as much as he needed. 

All in all their little family was happy and content, although both Jim and Blair knew that there would inevitably be wrinkles and problems to be faced both on account of their domestic arrangements and in dealing with a super-sensitive child. Despite Kathleen’s own wishes the Harris grandparents still disliked the fact that Jim and Blair had been deemed the most suitable carers for their granddaughter, simply because they couldn’t condone an obviously gay couple being responsible for bringing up a baby girl. But time and time again visiting social workers were pleasantly surprised and satisfied with Netty’s mental and physical progress, so there was no question of her being removed from her father’s and ‘stepdaddy’s’ home. 

And as for Jim’s co-workers, they were to a man – and woman – thrilled with Netty once introduced to her, and given the opportunity, spoiled her rotten whenever they saw her.   


\---------------------  


Pondering on all these developments as he sat with his daughter on his lap, and his beloved Blair at his side, Jim grinned in introspective contentment until Blair attracted his attention again by addressing him a little diffidently. 

“Ah, Jim, lover, I’ve just heard from Naomi. She’d like to make one of her flying visits in a couple days’ time. Is that OK with you? I mean, she doesn’t know anything about us yet, let alone about Netty, so I could put her off if you’d rather wait a bit longer to tell her?” 

Jim shook his head in fond exasperation. Despite everything they had achieved between them, his lover still had a tendency to betray his inherent lack of self-confidence on occasion, and he knew it was incumbent on him to set Blair’s mind at rest. 

“Oh, Sweetheart,” he murmured softly. “Of course she can visit! As long as she’s happy to take the couch, that is, since Netty’s got the spare room now,” he chuckled. “When’s she coming?” 

Brightening immediately, Blair replied, “She said Sunday, Jim, so we’ll all be here to greet her. I just hope that she’ll be as open-minded as she usually is. I want her to love Netty as much as I do.” 

“I’m sure she will, babe,” Jim replied comfortingly. “What’s not to like?” and they shared a companionable chuckle in which Netty joined, her pink rosebud mouth opening to reveal the first signs of new teeth. Yes, life chez Sandburg-Ellison was good.  


\----------------------------  


**Epilogue: Two days later, Sunday morning:**  


Sunday morning arrived bright and clear for once, although Blair was too nervous to truly appreciate it. Despite Jim’s attempts to reassure him, the young guide was still jittery in advance of his Mom’s visit, it being so important to him to be granted approval by his only parent. He might well come over as independent and assured, but Jim knew differently, having learned the hard way how unintentional indifference and throwaway comments could hurt his lover’s tender heart. 

Netty also picked up on her stepdaddy’s unease, and grizzled until he determinedly shook himself out of it, forcing himself to calm down and seek his centre in true Sandburgian fashion. 

And then she was there, whirling into the apartment in a flurry of bright energy, to come to a stunned halt at the sight of Jim and her son standing close together, a beautiful little girl cuddled in the big cop’s arms. 

After a long moment in which she absorbed the scene, her face lit up in a huge smile as she said, “Oh, Jim! She’s beautiful! You must be so proud of her!” 

Bemused, Jim smiled back somewhat wryly. “Er, thanks, Naomi,” he replied. “But how did you know she was mine?” 

“Oh, come on, Jim!” the sharp-eyed woman responded smartly. “Who else’s could she be? With those eyes and features? She’s going to be totally gorgeous when she grows up, Jim. You’ll be fending off hopeful suitors on a daily basis!” 

Then she tilted her head to one side and studied both men frankly. “So, Sweetie, when were you going to tell me about you two? I mean, I _am_ looking at my new son-in-law, aren’t I?” and she laughed merrily at their matching bemused expressions. 

“Ah, well, it’s not that we wanted to keep it from you deliberately, Naomi,” Jim began uncertainly. “Uh, it just happened really. I realised how much Blair meant to me, and he was so supportive even when we learned about Netty. And after she was born, well, we couldn’t be happier. Really.” 

Naomi nodded understandingly. “You know, Jim, I expected as much, to be honest. I know I’ve made rather unflattering comments about your job before now, but I could hardly mistake the way my son has devoted himself to you. And if it makes you both happy, then who am I to complain? I never really expected to be a grandmother, even an ‘in-law’ one! Can I hold her?” 

In a way both men knew that this might be the moment of truth depending on how Netty reacted to Naomi. They fully intended to tell her all about the sentinel phenomenon as it affected both father and daughter, and Blair’s vital role in both their lives, but it would be so much better for them all if Netty accepted Naomi without complaint in the first instance. 

Jim smiled at her, and moved towards her. “Sure, Naomi. Netty, meet Naomi, your Stepdaddy Blair’s mom,” and he held her out for Naomi to take. And Netty didn’t even pause as she held her chubby arms out to Naomi, cooing contentedly as she settled into the older woman’s careful but competent hold. And as Naomi cuddled and interacted gently and amicably with her armful, Jim and Blair moved to wrap their arms around each other’s waists, leaning together as they absorbed the charming scene. It was going to be OK, and Netty had another devoted Sandburg admirer in her thrall.   


\----------------------------  


Later that afternoon, Naomi, Jim and Blair sat relaxing with cups of herbal tea or coffee as preferred, Netty taking a well-earned nap having been thoroughly entertained by all three doting adults for several hours. Jim and Blair took the opportunity to bring Naomi up to speed with everything that had happened during the past months, including the distressing details surrounding Netty’s traumatic birth. Regarding both men shrewdly, Naomi absorbed everything more or less without comment during their detailed explanation, waiting patiently until they finally wound down before clarifying certain points and making her decisions and opinions known. 

“So, poor Kathleen – you finally did manage to trace the killer back to that awful Donnelly man?” 

“Yeah, we did,” Jim sighed resignedly. “That is, Blair and I could only take secondary roles in the investigation because of our personal involvement with the victim. But once the contract killer was apprehended at a road block, Joel and Megs were able to ‘persuade’ him to ‘fess up to being hired through Donnelly’s sleazy lawyer, so not only did Donnelly go down for life, but his lawyer was jailed too. And it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy!” he ended with a sneer of pure disgust. 

Shaking her head in dismay at such a cruel waste of lives and opportunities, Naomi met his gaze again. “I’m so sorry it should have happened in the first place, Jim, and who am I to judge you for a one night stand gone wrong? After all, you and Blair weren’t together then, and I’m just so glad that you are now. It’s true that I thought that Blair might one day settle down with a nice girl and have children, but I’m more than happy to be a ‘step grandma’ to Netty if you’ll let me. She’s totally adorable, and I love her to bits already!” 

Both men’s smiles were wide and genuine as they nodded eagerly. “Oh yes, Naomi, that’s perfectly acceptable,” Jim said warmly. “She obviously recognises you as another sympathetic soul, just like your son, which leads me to think that what Blair and I refer to as the ‘guide instinct’ must run in families just as does the sentinel gift. So I guess it’s karma that he found me in the first place, huh?” and he hugged Blair to his side as the younger man snickered quietly. 

Naomi grinned at them both, then tilted her head on one side again, her brow furrowing in thought. “That’s a nice thing to say, Jim, and I truly appreciate it. And it gives me pause for thought too. You said that soon Blair will have to take up his new job as a consultant once you find a suitable carer for Netty. Well, how about if I stand in for the role for the time being? I know you think I have an incurable wanderlust, and for the most part, you’d be correct. But when I wish to I can settle for longer periods, and I think that being here to spoil my granddaughter makes the perfect excuse. Of course, I know I can’t stay here with you – the loft’s far too small – but I can easily find a place close by. How about it?” 

Both men looked incredulous for long moments, but broke into identical, wide smiles of relief and gratitude as they both reached out as one to pull her into a group hug. “Oh, Mom!” breathed Blair into her neck where he had buried his face. “You don’t know how much it means to us to make an offer like that! That would be so cool!” 

“Oh, I think I might have a fair idea,” Naomi replied somewhat ruefully as Jim dropped a grateful kiss on the crown of her head. “I realise now that I wasn’t the best maternal material while you were growing up, Sweetie, but I’d like the chance to do a proper job with Netty for as long as she needs me.” 

Jim squeezed her shoulder as he smiled down into her eyes. “I totally agree with Blair, Naomi. It would be a huge load off our minds to know that Netty was receiving the sort of care and love she needs while she learns to grow into her senses. We’re determined that she won’t have to go through the same sort of repression and misunderstandings that I did, and now she’ll have the security of a real family. Blair and I are in a lasting, loving, civil partnership, and now she has a real grandmother figure to enjoy too. Natalie Kathleen Harris Sandburg-Ellison is one lucky little girl, and whatever she makes of her life, and wherever she goes, she’ll have the comfort of knowing that we’re all waiting here for her, arms wide open to give her all the love she deserves.” 

And so it was.  


**The End**


End file.
